Ep #109: I Am Mantras

Today’s episode of the Chopped Podcast is something a little special. If you’ve ever found yourself stuck in wanting, it can be a lonely place. It feels like everyone else has it, but you. Just realize that wanting is actually a form of resistance. So, today’s episode of I Am Mantras is like the antidote for an glut of want in your life. Also, if you’re into creating the best YOU possible, then check out my discussion with Cara on how to Stop Self-Sabotage or How to Define Success.

Today I want to talk with you about something that’s been on my mind lately: I Am Mantras. It’s actually a part of a bigger discussion on I Want vs. I am. Honestly, I’m not sure I would have noticed the difference in the two if it hadn’t been for working with my life coach, Jay Pryor (see link below). At first it seemed like semantics to me, I want vs. I am. What’s the big deal?

But then one day I had a vision.

First, let me give you some back story. I was in a store a month or two ago when I heard a little girl. In fact, I think everyone in the store heard her. She was wailing. Normally I put on my judgmental hat in a situation like that. Her parents need to get her under control. That’s because I come from a long line of parents who don’t allow kids to throw temper tantrums.

Children are to be seen, not heard.

But on this day, the sound of that child wailing was like a siren, calling to me. I went and searched her out. It wasn’t hard. I turned the corner of the produce aisle and there she was, sitting in the front part of the shopping cart, facing her mom. She was wiggling her feet back and forth, in a reprieve from the screaming, but still clearly agitated. And then she let out another moan. And her mother did not flinch. She just kept looking at the items she was considering for purchase.

I stared at the beauty of that scene. I even felt a tear come to my eye. That child was throwing a fit; exercising her voice. I watched with renewed curiosity and admiration at the mother for allowing her child to do that. For not silencing her daughter.

Because how often do we silence our own voices?

I left the store, but the scene stayed in my mind for a long time. And then one day I had a vision. I’ve been having these lately, usually in the middle of the night. I woke up with the words “I want” stuck in my throat. Because, it’s true, I want so much.

Featured Content – I Am Mantras

Sometimes I feel like I am so full of I WANT!

I want to lose 20 pounds.

Or how about, “I want to write a book.

And then there’s, I want to be more successful.

Of course, there’s always: I want my house to be cleaner.

Finally, how about this: I want a perfect life.

And when I woke up in the middle of the night, I want was stuck in my throat and I saw myself as a little child, looking up to a parent figure crying, “I want!”

And that’s when I saw it. Jay’s words were true. “I want” is nothing more than a grown-up version of a temper tantrum. It’s resistance to what is.

Yes, “I want” is a mini, unrealized temper tantrum. So, if you’re going to be in “I want” mode, why  not really do it! Why not throw yourself on the floor and kick and scream a little.

I WANT TO LOSE 20 POUNDS!

Maybe even cry a little while you’re at it. Feel it to your bones.

There, there. Now you’ve really gotten it out of your system. We don’t always give ourselves permission to do that as adults.

Now you can pick yourself up and dust yourself off. I recommend following up an adult tantrum with a little bit of quiet time. Sort of like a time out. Journaling is nice here. Adult coloring books can work well too. Obviously, meditation is always a good thing (unless you’re driving).

After that vision I started to see “I want” for what it really was, resistance.

But if I wanted to move away from “I want” what would that look like?

If I could draw a line on a white board, I could write “I WANT” on one end, but what would be on the other end? What is the opposite of “I want”?

To me, the other end of the spectrum is “I AM”.

So, to help relieve my “I want” tendencies, I started focusing more on I Am Mantras. It caused me me think of Oprah’s “What do you know for sure” questions. I asked myself that. In order to get to my I Am Mantras, I asked myself “What do I know for sure about myself”. Well, I know these things…I AM:

• Compassionate
• Kind
• Passionate
• Loving
• Fun

And so I started focusing on those characteristics. That was my first step in moving away from I WANT statements.

Then, when I started thinking about my goals – those I WANT statements seemed to be at the core. How could I maintain my goals and still live in the area of I AM?

Let’s start with health. If I previously was saying, “I WANT to lose 20 pounds,” I immediately felt frustrated and incapable. But when I switched that statement to, “I AM healthy. I AM vibrant,” I felt powerful. Strong.

I am strong.

If I said a goal like, “I WANT to be successful,” I felt a sense of lack. It was like saying success…it’s over there! Way over there. Other people have it, but how come I can’t? How come things never work out for me? How come she gets some and I don’t!

Do you hear a whiny, little temper tantrum in that statement? I do!

My remedy? An I AM statement. This one is: I AM successful.

Because, as I’ve discussed in my FriChats Podcast with Cara, I get to be the one who defines success. It’s not a stretch to say that I am successful. I have achieved a lot of milestones in my life that I can use as supporting evidence…in case my internal critic decides to rear her mean little head.

When I focus on I AM successful instead of I want to be successful, I feel empowered. Capable. Confident. Strong.

I think you can see where I’m going with this. I’m truly a believer in the I Want vs. I Am frame of mind.

Our goal at ChoppedCon is to help you be your best. We hope these I Am Mantras are helpful to the important work you’re doing every day!

Now, go forth and Be Your Best You!

How to use this I Am Mantras Episode

If you’re trying to change your I want statements too, here are some thoughts on how you can use today’s post:

• Marly shares a post in meditation format
• Feel free to listen to this episode regularly to help reframe your mindset
• The I Am Mantras are great for the morning, but can repeated any time throughout the day
• Speak along with the words if you’d like in order to hear you own voice saying these words
• Repeat your favorite I Am Mantras to yourself throughout the day

Show Notes

This episode on I AM Mantras includes references to some resources you might find interesting. Here they are:

• Connect with Chopped Academy Online:  Instagram  | Twitter
• Connect with Marly: Namely Marly |  Instagram  | Twitter
• Learn more about life/executive coach Jay Pryor
• Production, intro/outro music, graphic art & sound design by Shawn Beelman
• Thanks to www.bensound.com for the mantra soundtrack music
• Learn about future Chopped Podcast episodes and get some awesome tips on food blogging by subscribing to the ChoppedCon newsletter. Just add your email in the subscribe section at the bottom of this page. You’ll be glad you did!

Subscribe to the Show & Feedback

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